Chapter 22 (Urbain) - Wish It Was All a Dream

Urbain didn't mind the pink scattered throughout the house.  He fully intended to have his one true love moving in without the hour.

She greeted him with a sweet peck on the lips.

Then asked the unthinkable. 

Urbain thought it must've been some sort of test that he passed with flying colors.

He declared his love.

And took her hand in marriage.

Marsha wasn't too sure about the "welcome wagon" that appeared.

"Put your back into it boys and row!"

Morning Sickness. Yay!

Without thinking, he turned the radio on.  Marsha jerked up in bed and glared at him. "I was sleeping!"

This time it was a planned pregnancy. I'm not sure why she looks so surprised.

Nothing in the paper. Only Tier 3 jobs available.  Oh how I wish he could be an Adventurer!  It goes with his personality so well!

The couple decides to get out of the house and head over to the Community Center.

"The boat's taking in water! Grab the buckets!"

It shocked him to the core when he ran into his father, Ben Long.  The man didn't even have a good excuse for never making contact.

Frankly, he could care less.  The man was nothing to him.

He sat and listened to the speech, though.  It was the civic thing to do.

"Who is that man across the room staring at you?" his wife asked, elbowing him.

He didn't know, but he would recognize that nose anywhere.

And that was how he met Kennedy Cox, his half brother!  (I laughed so hard when I saw Kennedy pop up since he's the spouse in another Apocalypse Challenge I'm enjoying, Unpleasantview.)

Instameal, saving tired pregnant women for decades!

The place was a wreck, though. It looked like they'd thrown a raging kegger party.

Marsha woke up, alarmed, having a horrible dream that she would die from hunger.  Just a dream, she thought, padding over and grabbing more Instameal.

And to clean up a little bit. Because that's high on the priority list, right after not dying.

Urbain checked the job listings, still nothing.  With his elongated nose, he smelled something off. Something burning...

Toaster pastries! His wife had apparently left them cooking while she went to sleep.  Thank goodness he was home! She might have died!

Aw! Vivi and Melissa came over to visit him.  (Oh my gosh - I just realized all the names of the generation's significant others - Meadow, Melissa, Marissa and Marsha. #facepalm)

"Sis! Good to see you! Come on in!"

Hold the phone, I want that puppy!  (No luck - Dangit!)

"I saw the cutest dog and tried to adopt it," he told his wife over dinner. She looked like she couldn't care less.

And she'd just gone to bed when the labor pains began.

Welcome to the family baby boy Teak Sharp!

She was glad Vivi and Melissa happened to be there for the birth.

Even if they did take off immediately afterwards.

Aw, I found a pirate bear and had to download it. (FYI, in my opinion, if you have stuffed bears for the kids to play with, the no autonomous talking through the bear mod is a necessity. That action drives me nuts! Get that bear out of my face!)

Since Urbain forgot to buy a crib, they pulled out the moving boxes and made do.

Since there were too many newspapers on the lot, the newspaper girl skipped their house.

Marsha wound up getting a job with an old newsletter that still had a job opening available.  It wasn't a fancy, new Tier 2 job, but it would give the family some money and be a nice starting point.

Someone had to be responsible!

"Your daddy is crazy," Marsha told little Teak lovingly.

He promised to spend time with his family every week. And that meant all of his family.

Urbain got to know his half-brother, bonding over the piece of crap Dad that abandoned them both.

"This is your nephew, Teak," he said, introducing his newborn.

Marsha tried for her husband's sake, but Kennedy was hard to like.

"See you next week!" Urbain promised.

"Thanks for changing the diaper, babe. It might make me go into Aspiration Failure!" he complained, neatly dodging diaper duty.

Finally, a job he could sink his teeth into. High Crime in the High Seas.  Whatcha gonna do, whatcha do when he swashbuckles you! (credit goes to my lovely daughter for singing that when she told me he needed to be a criminal. lol)

He just wouldn't tell Marsha what his job really was. She'd think it was immoral and irresponsible.

As fate would have it, Marsha's carpool arrived just as he was applying for his position.  She waved and headed off to work in a hurry.  Grimacing, he washed the baby, diaper and all, in the kitchen sink. 

This really just wouldn't do. 

He would ask her to quit when she got home so she could stay home with the baby and he could be a pirate.

Ah well, that works out well, too.

I know, you were really attached to that job you had for a few hours, weren't you Marsha?

Marsha? MARSHA!

This is never a good sign.

Urbain darted down the stairs and out to where he saw his wife collapse into the snow.

I did my part and clicked on the Grim Reaper. Nothing. Click. Nothing. Click. Click. Click. The Grim Reaper was unselectable.

Why are you looking at me like that Urbain?!

The Grim Reaper checked his Apocalypse Rules. Ah, here it is, rule 352: Thou shalt not plead with the Grim Reaper until the Paranormal Restrictions are lifted.

"Would you be willing to take some gold? Some booty? Anything?" Urbain bargained.

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?!!!!!"

"I wish this was all just a horrible dream," he sobbed. Even playing in the bathtub didn't cheer him up!

Urbain cuddled the small newborn against his chest and sniffled softly.  I guess this meant he was on full-time diaper duty now...


*AN: I'm really sad. That really sucked. I kept clicking on the Grim Reaper, trying to figure out what was going on.  Then checked the rules. UGH! Stupid Chance Card! I saw how hungry she was and tried to get her to run upstairs to get some Instameal, but she got stuck doing a 'I'm mad I got fired' animation.  That quickly led to 'help me I'm dying' animation. #facepalm

Looking back, I should have sent Urbain to work that day!